Mordecai and Esther were part of the Jewish exiles in Persia (modern day Iran). Their family had been living in Exile since the time of Nebuchadnezzar. They had grown up in exile and had never seen Israel or Jerusalem. They would have understood the customs and laws of the Jewish people as well as the people of the land they inhabited.

When Esther was young her parents died. We aren’t told how. Mordecai, her cousin was older and her took her in and raised her as his daughter. Maybe this is something like your experience. Maybe you were raised by a grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, a family member who loved you and took you in when you needed a place to live. Let’s look at how they cared for each other in difficult times.

Summary of Esther chapter 1-2:4

A little background

The Persian king Ahasuerus had deposed and exiled his queen, Vashti.  Sometime after, the king regretted his decision. The advisors proposed to have all the beautiful young women brought into the harem from all the corners of the kingdom. The one who pleased the king should be the new queen. The king thought this was a terrific idea. So, girls perhaps as young as fourteen were taken from their parents from all over the kingdom and brought to the harem in the king’s palace. The girls had a year of beauty treatments preparing them for their night with the king. If the king never called for them by name again, they would live the rest of their days as a widow in the king’s harem.

Mordecai cares about Esther

Esther was part of the gathering. We are told that “the young woman was beautiful of form and face” (Esther 2:7 NASB). When the guards came round, she was selected and taken to the harem. Mordecai, being a father to Esther, would have been worried about her welfare. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t rescue her. Her fate was sealed. He could not change it, but he could let her know he was there. He walked back and forth every day in front of the courtyard of the harem to learn how Esther was and what was happening to her.” (Esther 2:11 NASB) He showed up. He couldn’t change her future, but he could let her know he was there, and he cared about her.

It is often hard for us as parents to let our children experience difficult times. We protect them when they are small, but as they grow, they must learn how to handle challenges on their own and that becomes difficult. We still want to protect them instead of letting them learn and grow and mature as they work out their own problems.  Sometimes the only thing we can do as parents is let our kids walk through the tough times and let them know we are there, and we care. Sometimes the fault is our own and we must pay the consequences and develop some thick skin to deal with the fallout. Esther did not do anything wrong. She was a pretty girl caught in a king’s awful plan with no way out.

Esther cares for Mordecai

After Esther becomes Queen, she and Mordecai still have a close bond. She has not revealed to her husband, the king that she is Jewish. Mordecai had instructed her not to when she was first taken into the harem. Things are changing, however. A new enemy is on the scene in the form of Haman. He talks the king into destroying this group of people who are opposed to his kingdom. He doesn’t really come out and say who they are, just that they are opposed to the kingdom and need to be destroyed. The king trusts Haman and allows him to write in his name whatever needs to be done giving him his own ring to seal the deal. So, the decree is posted throughout the kingdom allowing the Jewish people to be exterminated.

Mordecai reads the decree, tears his clothes, dresses in sackcloth and ashes, a sign of deep mourning. News of Mordecai’s behavior reaches Esther. To comfort him she sends to him a change of clothes. Her servant returns and tells her he refuses them. Esther is beside herself and sends the servant back with instructions to try to get him to eat and change and find out what is wrong. She, in the harem, is not aware of Haman’s plot. All she knows is that Mordecai, her father, is grieving and she cannot go to him herself. She wants to end his grief.

When someone we love is hurting, the first thing we want to do is ease their hurt. It doesn’t matter if it is a parent, a child, or a family member we are close to and who has always been there for us. We don’t want to see our loved ones grieving or suffering. Sometimes their grief is a disease that we can’t take away. Other times it is a problem that we can’t fix for them. All we can do is pray and love them and let them know that we are there to support them. Esther cared for Mordecai the best way she knew how at this point. Sometimes we must get more involved into the matter. We may need to help with nursing care. We may need to help with housing. We may need to talk to an attorney. Mordecai asked Esther to go to the king on the behalf of her people. After all the years of keeping her heritage silent, it was now time to reveal her identity. This was not a simple fix for Esther. To go before the king uninvited could mean death without his extending mercy. Understandably, Esther was hesitant. Yet, out of love for Mordecai and her people she prepared through prayer and fasting and went to the king. She took a risk with her life to save the lives of many. We may not be asked to put our lives on the line for those we love, but we may be asked to do hard things that seem impossible for us to defend and care for those we love.

The relationship between Esther and Mordecai gives us a model for our own families. They teach us a respect for authority. How to love each other through difficult times. How to properly stand up for each other. It doesn’t mean life is easy, just the opposite. Life is hard and it requires hard things to do the right thing. Yet where our family is concerned, doing the right thing is what matters for our family.